Berkley Performance

I think that the Berkley performance was a milestone for our class in a couple of different ways.

In the whole process of getting ready for and transporting ourselves to Berkely, I could really tell how close our Banjar has become. Thinking back to the first day of class and how quiet and nervous everyone seemed to me, it was great to look around andsee the friendships that formed in the class, the jokes being cracked and the fact that I was oblivious that I had a train of cars trusting me to lead them to Berkley, when I really didn't know where I was going. But we made it there anyways!

I also really liked being about to share what we had learned with the middle schoolers. I can understand how Francis has so much fun teaching us what he knows about Asian dance and performance, because when we got the kids to participate with us it was a cool feeling. We welcomed them into our Banjar and some of the kids got really into our oms and enjoyed our performance. I'm glad that I came across this class and had the opportunity to try something new this semester, and perhaps broaden the horizons of a few middle school kids :o)

the kimball!

For most of the class, our first performance is behind us. I wasn't worried at all about our scene when we were practicing it in the previous weeks, but when we had our blocking session at the Kimball before the show my nerves began to creep out. I realized that our performance was perhaps not as polished as I had hoped it would be, and we had to make a few last minute additions to our scene to facilitate our entrance and exit.

One of my favorite parts of the night was definitely putting on our makeup and costumes. I really liked the way everyone looked with the big white eyes and red lips, and especially Ravana and the golden stag's makeup. I began to see how being in costume and full make-up helped me to get into the right mindset to perform.

The biggest thing I took away from our performance was that for the first time in this class, I honestly felt the support of the banjar. I feel like we came together as a family for the Kimball performance ; even though I was nervous and excited, I wasn't in it alone. I liked that our scene was unique from the other performers, and each group had a different flavor to their presentations. And of course our gurus did an amazing job too!

It's been awhile.

Sorry it's been so long since my last post. I have been feeling so bogged down with midterms and papers and such, and it doesn't look like there's any end in sight! Even so, I've been coming to class, even on days when I really am dreading it. I always feel so much better about lfe by the end of class, a little decompressed from the stress of my other classes.

I really enjoyed class last Wednesday. We acted out a scene when Ravana finally gets fed up with Sita and threatens to kill her. I volunteered to be one of the wives in Ravana's harem who vie for his attention. I was nervous at first, and we were all kind of timid in the first go around for the scene, but as we continued talking about it and trying again, the scene got better and better and I became more comfortable with the part I was playing. Volunteering for a part like that was a big step for me! I rarely speak up in class, let alone volunteer to perform. I can see how this class is helping me to step out of my comfort zone and try new things!

Dear Banjar...

Dear Francis/Banjar,
I have really enjoyed this class so far this semester, and it’s hard to believe we’ve been together for almost two months. I feel like, while we are growing as a community and a banjar, it is still hard for me to open up to everyone and voice my opinions to the class, and I don’t think I’m the only one who is struggling with this “surrender” as Francis likes to say. I have especially felt the struggle to contribute in the past few weeks, with all of the stress of midterms mounting in my mind. I have felt so much pressure in all of my classes that it sometimes causes me to clam up and my mind kind of shuts down. Its hard for me to focus sometimes on how my contributions to the banjar are important.
In some ways I do feel like I’ve grown through this class. I have become less concerned with how ridiculous I look and sometimes feel doing the dance moves and stomps we have been learning. I think that for me this is about becoming more comfortable and confident in my body. I think that dance is a realm of this class that I am definitely more comfortable with, even though I'm not necessarily good at it. It's something that is more familiar to me, even if the style is way different than anything I've ever done before. I'm much more confident in a performance or dance setting than a speaking setting, so I'm hoping I can contribute more to the class in that way! For the performance, I’m open to just about anything. I think that it is important to represent several different levels of performance and community. A big group performance would be good to solidify the bonds of our banjar, and would allow for a more intricate interplay between a larger number of people, which always looks cool (I’m thinking of the entrance of the monkeys that we saw in the Ramayana and also the kecak circle with the polyrhythmic chanting).
I think it would also be cool to incorporate solo performances, as well as performances of smaller dance groups, maybe 4 or 5 people? I would like for my final performance to be part of a small group, as I think this is an atmosphere in which I could best contribute to the banjar. Another way in which I will try to give to the banjar will be in completing my blogs and reading in the Ramayana and on Blackboard. It’s easy to push these aside sometimes because they don’t seem as important as my readings for other classes, but I can’t put forth the effort that the community deserves without doing the readings. I don’t want to feel like I’m cheating the banjar out of a more fulfilling experience.

Let's talk about the Ramayana...or not

So, at Monday's class we were supposed to be discussing the Ramayana in our circle. We circled up and our guru led us in our stretches. I agree with Guru Francis that I do feel the sense of community while we are stretching together. We are linked together through him during that time, and the exercise we did with laying down and popping back up was a cool way to really see how in tune with each other we can be.

When we started doing the chanting circle and Francis got up and started singing/chanting about the beginnings of the Ramayana. None of us really knew what we were supposed to do. I think the hardest part about this class for me is truely getting to a point where I can step out of my comfort zone and "surrender." Monday's class was really confusing to me in many ways, and it was/is hard for me to verbalize what I was feeling during that class. All the talk about the economy and people's future plans made me feel like all the things I'm going through right now are really petty and unimportant, which is why it's hard for me to open up about what's on my mind when asked in class. When I left class I felt really unsettled about it all.

Being in a situation like our discussion on Monday is really hard for me. I'm very quiet by nature, public speaking is a huge fear of mine, and to just jump into a conversation in or outside an academic setting requires major effort on my part. So I know that is something I need to work on, and have been working on, but I also know its something that will take a lot of time.

I think that dance is a realm of this class that I am definately more comfortable with, even though I'm not necessarily good at it. It's something that is more familiar to me, even if the style is way different than anything I've ever done before. I'm much more confident in a performance or dance setting than a speaking setting given my background in cheerleading and dance. So I'm hoping I can contribute more to the class in that way!

That's all for now.

This past week we continued to learn more stomps and mudras with not one, but two gurus! This week's steps were somewhat different from the kinds of stomps we have learned so far n past weeks. My feet, and especially my heels were sore by the end of each day, but as they say, the pain should only make your smile bigger. Our gurus said that their feet were sore when they were first learning these steps too, and there is no special technique to avoid it; your feet just have to get used to it!

I really liked the cup exercise that we did in class on Wednesday. I have HORRIBLE posture, and my family always pick on me about it, so this was really good practice for me to concentrate on sitting and standing straight, and not just falling back into my typical slouch. We lined up into two lines, and half of us were Ramas, and half were Lakshamnas. We used the mudras we had learned to walk down the line with our invisible bow and arrows, practicing our stylized travelling steps, trying to really focus on the characters we were embodying and keeping good posture. I really liked learning the song at the end of class on Wednesday. I was humming the tune for the rest of the day; it was kind of soothing. I can't remember all of the words, but the tune is engrained in my memory!

Thats all for now.

Moving on...new steps and video

This week we started learning about some of the mudras, hand motions and stomping patterns we will be using in our presentation of the Ramayana. Each pattern has several difference speeds, and sometime the speeds have different hand and head motions attached to them. I was actually concentrating so hard on getting all the movement and rhythms right and stomping loudly (because that's an important aspect of the dance) that I think actually bruised the bottoms of my feet a little bit! But no worries, I'm really enjoying learning this new and different genre of dance!

On Wednesday we watched a video of the Ramayana production that was put on my William and Mary students last year. It was so cool to watch the video and realize that these people were just like me and at one point were just beginners too. I definately had an easier time following the parts of the book that I had read so far, but even so, the dancers did a great job of getting their emotions and even some humor across to the audience. Seeing some of the dance steps and movements we have been learning about put into action also helped me put them into a better context. I can't wait to find out what happens next in the book!